


Fear Not

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: 100fandoms on DW, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Community: 100fandoms, Crowley Has Self-Esteem Issues (Good Omens), Crowley fears rejection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gabriel is an ass, Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Marriage Proposal, My First Work in This Fandom, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Nonbinary Character, Post-Canon, Romantic Friendship, abusive relationship (not Crowley/Aziraphale) featured, mild anyway, non-sexual romance, post the not-apocalypse, why angels say fear not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 06:44:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20652905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale step in to rescue a woman from an abusive boyfriend and offer to walk her home; seeing that they're boyfriends she feels safe enough to agree. This leads to a discussion on marriage and finally an admission from Crowley about why he's been reluctant to wed.





	Fear Not

"Are you all right my dear?" While Crowley was making sure the man who'd been terrorising the woman would never do so again, Aziraphale tried to comfort the victim. She was crouched against the wall, half in the shadows cast by the street light, sobbing.

Nearby, there was a gasp followed by a scream as the man was shown exactly how and what Crowley was, and was therefore capable of. The threats he'd been making became pleas. Good, Aziraphale thought. He'd never been able to be truly impartial, caring about humans and their actions too much and not above enjoying some non-divine justice being meted out.

"He won't hurt you again," Aziraphale said. "He's going to be a changed man after this." Take up religion maybe, think he'd gone mad, or just run as far from London as he could. So long as he left her alone it didn't matter. 

She raised a trembling chin, tears streaking her face. The bruises on her cheek were a mix of fresh and a week old. Aziraphale's heart went out to her. "He said he loved me."

"Yes," Aziraphale said. "But he was jealous? And angry all the time. It was always your fault. And so he had to take it out on you. But he was always sorry and promised never to do it again?" 

It didn't take much to read the story in her face and her soul. It was a story he'd seen too often over the years. That she had welcomed their intervention, accepted their help, was a good sign. Aziraphale was certain if there was a clean break she wouldn’t let the man back into her life.

She nodded, whimpered. "He never kept a promise."

"It's all right," Aziraphale said. He held out his hand and she shrank back. Oh dear. Aziraphale was sure this latest man wasn't the first to harm the poor woman. She was terrified and his gentleness wasn't enough to reassure her; in fact it seemed to make her suspect him more. An openly violent man let her know where she stood, but kindness had in the past perhaps led to worse than a punch.

Sometimes Aziraphale had to sit motionless in his bookstore for a long time and count up all the reasons not to hate humanity.

"Would it help if I told you I was an angel?" He shouldn't have said it but he thought she might then trust him enough to let him heal the bruising.

She scoffed. "You don't look like an angel. No halo. No wings."

"Ah. Haloes are from optional divine illumination and not actually a circular headpiece. More like a lens flares, if you will, on your modern cameras. Wings...well...." If the street was otherwise deserted he might risk a quick display. It wasn't the done thing to go around revealing yourself willy-nilly but this would be the first time in years – aside from the almost-Armageddon when there were extenuating circumstances (besides, who knew how much of that had technically happened) - and it wasn't as if Aziraphale had been following the rules much these days.

"And angels are supposed to say Fear Not," the woman said with sudden authority, recalling something from her past. "That's in the Bible."

Aziraphale let out a sigh. "Yes. So it is."

That was Gabriel's fault. As with so many things.

Humans generally wanted to believe in the divine, that there was something more than mortality, that there was a plan - however ineffable it might be, that they were being watched over by benevolent forces. When faced with the reality of divinity however they tended to react badly.  
Especially when divinity came in the form of Gabriel. The result was usually screaming.

"Why must we interact with these," and Gabriel had screwed his nose up as if he'd caught the scent of something unpleasant, "humans?"

"I rather like them," Aziraphale had replied absentmindedly and had promptly been assigned to earth on a permanent basis. Gabriel and the others still dropped by occasionally, Gabriel unwilling to give up the credit for the more prestigious messages, but generally the other angels stayed in heaven and Aziraphale on earth and that was best for everyone.

There was the sound of footsteps as someone ran as if all the demons of hell were after them. Crowley sauntered over, slipping his glasses back on. "Well he won't be back," he said. "Herpetophobia. That's fear of snakes."

"I know, dear," Aziraphale said.

Crowley stuck in hands in his pockets and waited for Aziraphale to make the next move.

Aziraphale cleared his throat. "Fear not," he said, and let the light glow brighter, illuminating the street. He willed his wings to appear at the same time, just for a moment, enough that she might later think she'd imagined it.

Her mouth fell open.

"I'm joking," Aziraphale said, dimming the light again. "Trick of the light. I just wanted you to trust me. Please will you let us walk you home?"

She frowned, looking at Crowley. "You and your boyfriend?"

Anathema had thought them such when she first met them, as she'd since told them with a fond smile, before it was true or at least acknowledged, and she'd relaxed at the idea there was no sexual interest from the two strangers. So Aziraphale gave her a warm smile. "My husband."

"You keep calling me that but you haven't made an honest man of me yet," Crowley said.

"There is no ceremony on earth that could make you an honest man," Azirapahle snapped. "And I got you a ring." This was not the time to argue. 

"We got each other rings," Crowley retorted.

"And we can hardly marry in church!" All right maybe the timing wasn't great but that didn't mean Aziraphale wasn't going to rise to the bait nor use all the ammunition he had.

"Could go to the registry office," Crowley said.

"Register office," Aziraphale corrected, because common usage was not correct usage. "And I suggested that six months ago and you kept bringing up excuses not to go!" 

Crowley tossed his head, presumably rolling his eyes behind his glasses.

Aziraphale shook his head and returned his attention to the woman. "Please excuse our dreadful manners."

He held out his hand again and this time she took it, let him pull her to her feet. He surreptitiously miracled away the worst of her physical injuries, leaving just enough evidence of the bruising that it wouldn't seem like a miracle had occurred.

"Can you go back home?" Aziraphale asked. He didn't want to take her back to where the now ex-boyfriend was probably packing in a hurry. "Is it safe?"

"Yes. He won't be there," the woman said. "He's been sleeping on his brother's couch. Wanted to move in with me but my roommate doesn't like him."

The roommate had been right.

She told them the street she lived on and they headed in that direction. It was fifteen minutes out of their way but it didn't matter; they'd been strolling back to the bookstore at a leisurely pace after a wonderful dinner and were in no hurry.

Aziraphale walked alongside her, filling the silence with niceties about the pleasantly warm wind and the beauty of the waxing moon and titbits of information about some of the street names that were probably long forgotten by everyone but him. Crowley followed behind, occasionally agreeing with or laughing at the stories behind the names.

"Thank you," she said, pausing at the steps leading up to her front door.

"Please take care of yourself," Aziraphale said. Crowley took his hand and they walked away.

"Are you sure he won't come back?" Aziraphale asked.

"I put the fear of Satan into him," Crowley said. "Told him to get the hell out of London or there'd be a plague of snakes follow him everywhere. Starting with me. Showed him my forked tongue and everything."

He'd enjoyed the escapade a little too much but given what a dreadful creature the man had been Aziraphale didn't have it in him to scold Crowley. Besides, he'd felt the man's terror was deserved and it would be hypocritical to say otherwise.

His thoughts moved in another direction. "Crowley?"

"Yes, angel?"

"What you said about getting married. Did you mean it?"

Crowley gave him a sideways glance. "Nah, but bickering like that made us seem harmless to her."

"You did mean it," Aziraphale insisted, hearing the falsehood beneath the start of Crowley's statement. "We can go to the register office. I'll miracle up the necessary forms to get us in the door, birth certificates and a marriage licence and so on, and we'll find two witnesses - oh, Anathema and Newt would love to do it, I think -"

"Sssh," Crowley said. "We don't need a human marriage certificate to prove our love. You're my husband as much now as you will ever be."

There was a touch of regret in his voice. Aziraphale brought them to a stop a few yards from the bookstore and pulled his hand from Crowley's grasp, turning to face him.

"Anthony J Crowley, tell me what is troubling you."

Crowley shrugged.

"I can wait here all night," Aziraphale said, though he wanted to go inside and make cocoa.

Five minutes passed. Aziraphale folded his arms.

"When humans marry," Crowley said distantly. "They have to...they consummate the marriage."

"Yes - oh." Aziraphale frowned. "Is that what you're worried about?"

Crowley shuffled in place. It was a minor, or demonic, miracle that he'd stood still this long. "I don't think I want to. And I know you don't want to. We've done...stuff. Just not other...stuff."

For a demon, Crowley could get oddly tongue-tied about the subject of sex. Aziraphale found it endearing. Less so at the moment, given the distress behind Crowley's words. 

They cooked together, ate meals, drank wine, talked for hours. They held hands, they kissed, they slept alongside each other, spooned often. They even bathed together occasionally. Aziraphale loved to brush Crowley's hair, which he was growing out again. Crowley loved to massage Aziraphale's shoulders and back. There were a million ways they were intimate, but sex was not one of them.

"The other 'stuff' doesn't matter," Aziraphale began but Crowley shook his head.

"But without sex," he stopped sidestepping the word finally, "the marriage isn't valid. Marriage is supposed to be until death do you part but without sex you can get it annulled. Like it never happened."

This all made things much clearer. Aziraphale lifted a hand and placed it on Crowley's cheek. "Fear not," he said, and that made Crowley smirk as he'd intended.

Aziraphale lowered his hand and shook his head. "My darling demon. We are not human. I thought it might be nice to indulge in the custom of marriage to show humans how much we love each other, but if you don't want to then I won't ever ask again."

Despite the glasses there was no mistaking the brief moment of panic that caused Crowley. That wasn't what he wanted.

Aziraphale continued, "As for validity; you said it yourself, I am your husband now, in all the ways that matter. It's not as if I'm going to ask for a divorce, let alone an annulment!" 

Also, and Aziraphale knew this because he'd already read up on the current UK laws on marriage, civil marriage, and civil partnerships, in a same sex relationship consummation as a means of validity did not apply and as far as the law was concerned they would be a same sex couple. Unless Crowley felt strongly otherwise and felt like presenting as female again – Ashtoreth in a wedding dress would be enchanting. But Crowley presented as male more often than not and it would seem inadvisable to wed as man and wife or woman and husband when they spent most of their lives looking like two men – husbands - very much in love. 

People were still on the whole struggling to grasp the concept of nonbinary individuals. Celestial beings lacking gender would be impossible to explain or have accepted even if they could admit to the truth. So Aziraphale left out that detail, letting his declaration of commitment stand for itself.

Crowley took off his glasses, let Aziraphale see his eyes. Aziraphale appreciated the gesture, the vulnerability. "You might feel differently after a few centuries, angel," he said.

Having fallen, lost his connection to Divine Grace, lived amongst demons for so long, Crowley was terrified of further rejection, of being alone, and, worst, of deserving it. Aziraphale knew he'd not always been considerate enough of that, pushing Crowley away due to his own fears and insecurities. Though he could surely be forgiven for using it to his advantage when he'd needed Crowley to avert the apocalypse and threatened never to speak to him again.

As if he could ever cut Crowley out of his life forever. And yet Crowley had in that moment believed it possible and acted, giving them the chance to save the world. Still perhaps did believe it, and so Aziraphale had to choose his words carefully to soothe Crowley's fears, but without too much mawkishness or promises of eternal love that would spook Crowley, fearing his own unworthiness.

"It took us six thousand years to admit our love," Aziraphale said at last. "I think we can get through the next few thousand at least."

Crowley nodded. "I do - I do love you." The words still came with difficulty and that made them all the more precious.

"I love you too. Why don't I marry us now? The certificate is just human legal paperwork. I can miracle that up. The rest is declaring our love before God and some witnesses." Aziraphale looked around, spotted a street cat who was scavenging nearby. "Here, kitty, oh look, isn't he lovely, Crowley?"

"We can't have a stray cat as a witness," Crowley said. The cat gave him a filthy look and skulked back across the road. "If we're going to do it then the registry – register - office, like you said. Invite the witch and the witchfinder. I can get a new suit. We can have photographs."

"We could have cake!"

"Of course we'll have cake," Crowley laughed. He knelt down and spread his hands. "Aziraphale Ezra Fell will you marry me?"

"Yes, my love," Aziraphale said in delight. "Yes, I will. How does next week sound?"

"Perfect," Crowley said, getting to his feet.

Aziraphale leaned in to seal the deal with a single kiss. He couldn't wait to call Anathema first thing in the morning, though of course he'd send her and Newt a written invitation by post. He wanted to do things properly.

As they went inside to celebrate with brandy laced cocoa, Crowley said, "Is it really Gabriel's fault you're supposed to say 'fear not' when you show yourselves to humans?"

"Oh yes. There was an incident. More than one." There had been Paperwork with a capital P.

Crowley threw himself on the sofa while Aziraphale bustled about in the kitchen. "But humans have dealt with talking burning bushes. Me, as a snake. All sorts of nonsense. Shouldn't human bodies make the whole thing less terrifying?"

"You've met Gabriel," Aziraphale said. "What do you think?"

"I think he's not invited to the wedding, that's what I think."

Aziraphale laughed and Crowley leaned his head back on the sofa and smiled, both of them utterly content.

**Author's Note:**

> I was writing a longer h/c fic but I stalled on it and this happened first, a lot more fluffy but with some of the Crowley angst around his self-esteem/unworthiness issues I've seen done so well in this fandom.
> 
> That bit about annulment is currently true:  
"You can annul a marriage for a number of reasons, such as:  
it was not consummated - you have not had sexual intercourse with the person you married since the wedding (does not apply for same sex couples)"  
https://www.gov.uk/how-to-annul-marriage  
(insert my asexual ranting about this is one reason we need civil partnerships for opposite sex couples or at least the equality of removing the expectation of sex)
> 
> For the 100fandoms prompt "fear"
> 
> [rebloggable tumblr post](https://meridianrose.tumblr.com/post/187735445141/fear-not-meridianrose-meridianrose-good)


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